Thursday, March 26, 2015

This Is Some Hard Shit...

Greetings Friends and Readers,

I had great trip to Austin, and I can't thank Zoe enough for opening her home to me and giving me a place to crash.  And for being so incredibly supportive. And to all the folks that I have met in this journey.  Well.. most of them. And thanks to Cara for also being so helpful and supportive in showing showing me the right offices to go to, and how to sign up for testimony.

Going on these trips... and being around all those people is very difficult for me.  Each step I have to take with lost ones in mind to take the next step. I picture my Grandma Ruth by my side when going down the halls of the State Capitol in Austin.  

The hardest when the time comes for me to have to tell my story... tell why medical cannabis is so important to me.  I feel that moment before I begin to speak... my throat chokes up, my heart races and I murmur to myself.. "Here we go..".  Has telling this ugly story over and over helped any?  Well, some.  But... it also brings it all back. It reminds me of the immersion therapy that I turned down. I didn't WANT to have to live it over and over. And yet.... for this cause, for Wendi...for Michelle... for all those lost to suicide, opiates, alcohol or cancer.. I have to.  But lemme tell you.. opening your mouth, and the words come out.. and you see the shock, outrage, and ... pity.... on the faces as you tell the story.. is like a plow churning up my heart.  Even writing this.. the bare and raw feelings.. hurts. But because I now have  a larger, and different audience then I've had in the past... I realize.. that I have to share it.  I need YOU... yes YOU.. the reader.. to read and feel.. You'll never understand... but perhaps, it will inspire you to help if you are not already.  

As I tell the story.. I can feel that Iranian pilot beating me again,  saying the words I didn't understand 'diplomatic immunity'... I remember him telling me I'd never have children.. I could feel.. horrid humiliation as he wanted me to, the searing pain as he did things to me I'd never experienced. I remember waking in sick bay.. being commanded to tell who had done this.. my weeping.. the sudden shock and silence when I named my attacker, then I remember the 'oh fuck, not again' from someone in the room before they all fled from me.   I  .. remember.. the nurse's kind and soft words... so sad as she tells me I'll never have children... at 17...I was too numb and drugged to feel the full impact of her words, the fulfillment of what my attacker had told me... as was the next part...  I especially remember the rain droplets like little diamonds on the long black coat of the man who  hissed a Direct Command to me to never, ever tell anyone what had happened, including my own mother......words of National Security.. diplomatic immunity... how he scared me more then my attacker...that I would be taken back to the barracks and I would tell everyone that I had fallen down the stairs late at night.  My throat chokes up.. and it's Lonnie, holding my up off the ground by my throat again, my feet kicking and trying to touch the ground... choking me into almost unconsciousness before he throws me to the ground and shoves his terrible, disgusting member down my throat, gagging me.. and then shoving me into the dirt as he does more evil  upon me. I feel the despair and rage when I see him with the Capt's arm around him as best buddies in off time, and he sneers at me. He holds up the key to my room and I know.. he's gotten something hidden. I saw someone try to escape him, and be slut shamed, charged with adultery, although she wasn't married, and drummed out of the Navy in dishonorable disgrace. I know he's won and there isn't any damn thing I can do but try to survive one more day.. to get out of 'this MAN's Navy' (His words) alive.  

I can't begin to explain the horror of that life.. day after day.. being a sadist's play toy, the despair I felt.. and how I just gave up even trying to advance... the shame in that in itself, and in turn also used against me to show what a loser I was.  But.. I did.. survive.. but I did not begin to live, until my Uncle did his intervention on me, and convinced me to use cannabis instead of alcohol to try and deal with whatever was murdering me from inside that I couldn't even tell him.. my most beloved Uncle about.. because of that Direct Order..that ruled my life for 35 years.  But.. he did save my life.. unlike my brother who died a few months before from alcohol poisoning.  Treatment at the Vet Center (NOT the VA) is giving some threads of sanity. 

Then.. I have to speak.. and I have to take that horror, and try not to shock my audience too much. 

Medical cannabis has helped with all this, more then I can say. The pharmaceuticals didn't help at all, only made it worse. I choose medical cannabis.  I don't want to be a criminal.  Today, I have my little cookie in me, and I can write this.. I can.. talk about.. and not have to re-experience what else I remember...

the cold of the gun under my chin. 
my finger on the trigger...
tears as I wanted the images of my past to just

and then.. I do as my beloved Uncle recommended to me.. I go have a puff of cannabis for breakthrough if my cookie isn't enough. And then.. I feel the relaxation.. the feeling of 'well being'.. in spite or rather dispite my past.

And then.. I can now guird myself up for another day, as a cannabis warrior here in Texas. 
I want to stop and retire.. I want to be able to STOP FIGHTING FOR MY MEDICINE.  I want Alexis to be able to come home to Texas.  23 days and no seizures since she had to move to Colorado.  I long for the day I can say she is safely home.  Please.. please help me do that if you are friend, staff, Legislator, caring citizen.

Tomorrow, I head to Austin again.. to take my package to Myrna Crownover, the head of the Health Committe here.  I pray and send energy that she will open her mind.. for she unknowingly triggered me very badly last Tue in the Capitol.  She was in the hall, as we were going by.. and said to someone on  our team "Yeah, I know, ya'll just wanna smoke pot and get high".  I .. was .. gobsmacked... outraged.. furious... TRIGGERED. NOOOOOO I wanted to wail..... I just wanna.. LIVE.. I WANT ALEXIS TO COME HOME.. I WANT SO MANY TO HAVE MEDICINE.." She has no idea that it was like stabbing me both in the heart, and back at the same time.  I forgive her her ignorace.. she must belive the lies my Grandma taught me about when I was young.. so I can understand. So I pray.. I pray hard.. when I can't do anything else but murmur to God.. soften her heart.. open her mind.. 

I broke down at group on Mon when I recounted the above scene..  my therapist.. shook her head and told me... how proud she is of me.. for going.. telling OUR story (for I am far from the only one) she said she supports me, and medical cannabis 100%... as do all the other ladies in my group. Another one also uses cannabis like myself.. the others are too afraid of what would happen if they get caught. But I hear of the side effects, I see a sister warrior on VA psyc drugs too out of it to hardly comprehend what we are even talking about.  

I am waaaay out of my comfort zone in so many ways now.  I also feel God's Hand firmly on my shoulder as I put each foot forward to do what I am now.  I never, ever wanted to have to tell people this story..but I am doing it for myself, my fellow warriors, for Alexis, the children and all the good citizens of Texas.

Sat... I will volunteering at Willie Nelson's Putt n Puff, a fund raiser to help veterans with trying to change the cannabis laws.  Another matter of walking my talk.  I am driving there myself.. I am staying at an Airbnb place about 20 min from the venue.  I'l come back on Sun.  I am nervous but also excited.  

Well. that's as much as I can write today.. 

Please feel free to leave a supportive comment.. I could use em.  I see folks come here, but I am talking to myself. That's okay.. as it is my journal.. but.... it would be nice to see someone acknowledge it. 

Over and out,

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Irv Rosenfeld - 30 Year FEDERAL Medical Cannabis Patient?

Welcome Friends and Readers!

Question: How can the Feds 
(or anyone else ) say cannabis has no medical value, when it's been keeping Irv Rosenfeld alive for 30 years, courtesy of our Govt??
If pictures are woth 1000 words, then maybe these three pics and Irv's story will enlighten you.

Marijuana Patient Gets 300 Joints Every 25 Days From The Government
April 17, 2014 By Blake

In November, Florida voters will take to the polls for the general election with the option to vote for or against a proposed constitutional amendment allowing for the medical usage of marijuana.

However, one Florida resident has already legally been a major benefactor of medical cannabis for over 30 years.

Irvin Rosenfeld at Silver Tour Vizcaya
Irvin Rosenfeld shares his stories with The Silver Tour, a non-profit organization created to educate the senior community of the United States about the medicinal value of cannabis.
Federal Marijuana Patient Lives In Florida

In 1982, Irvin Rosenfeld, a stockbroker from Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., convinced a panel of doctors in a hearing at the Food & Drug Administration office in Rockville, Md., that marijuana was the only possible treatment available for his medical conditions.

Rosenfeld spoke about his conditions and how he had worked with his doctor on a 10-year study prior to the hearing.

“I use (cannabis) to treat two conditions, one called multiple congenital cartilaginous exostosis, which causes tumors to grow on the ends of most long bones in my body, and pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism, which means that the tumors can develop at any age as my bones continue to grow,” Rosenfeld said.

On November 20, 1982, the FDA made Rosenfeld the second member of the Compassionate Investigational New Drug Program (Compassionate IND), a program established by the federal government after the landmark case of Randall v. U.S.  In that case Robert Randall, eventually the inaugural patient of the program, successfully argued the common law doctrine of necessity against charges of marijuana cultivation as a medical necessity.

Compassionate IND has been closed to new entrants, but has supplied as many as thirteen different patients with medical marijuana grown at the University of Mississippi.

Patient Gets 300 Joints of Marijuana Every 25 Days From The Government

Rosenfeld receives a tin of 300 joints of marijuana every 25 days for his treatment, and has become a public advocate for the legalization of medicinal marijuana treatment.  He said he would like to see the Florida amendment pass for multiple reasons, including education.

“Right now we’re not teaching future doctors about the medical benefits of marijuana in medical schools,” Rosenfeld said. “Once we’re able to get it as a curriculum in medical schools we’ll be able to learn about all the possible benefits and side effects.”

Benefits, Rosenfeld says, that include improving our endocannabinoid system, a group of lipids and their receptors in the brain that are involved in physiological processes such as appetite, mood changes, memory, and pain-sensation. Rosenfeld suggested that a lack of cannabis in foods and medicine has resulted in the prevalence of diseases such as Lupus and Chron’s.

“Just like the digestive system and our respiratory system, the endocannabinoid system produces important substances and some people aren’t producing enough,” Rosenfeld said. “We used to use cannabis in foods and medicine but the federal government took it out, leaving people cannabinoid deficient causing the body to attack itself.”

Medical Marijuana Allows A Normal Way Of Life

Because of his access to medical marijuana treatment, Rosenfeld says his life has completely changed for the better. He is able to volunteer for Shake-A-Leg Miami, a not-for-profit organization that works with children and adults with physical, developmental, and economic challenges.

“Without marijuana, if I was still alive, I’d be on disability and living off the government,” he said. “Instead I’m a productive member of society, working as a stock broker and a volunteer of 20 years for a program that helps disabled people by giving them the opportunity to go sailing.”

Although Rosenfeld is a major proponent of legalizing marijuana for medicinal purposes, he said he thinks Florida is a few years away from considering an amendment for the recreational use of cannabis.

“We’re still in an educational process with marijuana, which is why it is important to legalize it medically and start teaching it in medical school,” he said. “Three to four years down the road, once doctors have had a chance to study (marijuana) and its effects, then it might be possible.”

Remember Irvin’s Story

bookfrontcoverWhen asked if there were one thing he would like Florida voters to consider before heading to the polls this November, Rosenfeld said to think about his story.

“I’m living proof that medical marijuana works, and can help change someone’s life for the better,” he said.

You can read more about Irvin Rosenfeld and his journey to gaining access to medical marijuana in his book, available at
Irv is not lazy, nor is he a 'couch potatoepotato'.  All most cannabis patients want is the medicine our doctors tell us is a good medicine for our ailments. Like my VA and Vet Center doctors.   Why is politics between me and my best medicine?  Please read with an open mind and heart. I am only one of thousands of Texas veterans that want - and need medical cannabis.

Signing off from the Texas State Capitol grill,
over and out,

Friday, March 13, 2015

A Part of My PTSD Treatment Plan - Going To Austin to Lobby for Medical Cannabis

Greetings Friends and Readers, Legislators, Staff and Supporters,

I have been asked to go to Austin next week to be part of the Capitol Building Educational Exhibit - TRMP Coalition. I will be volunteering for the week there. It's a part of 'walking my talk'. If I want things to be changed, I have to be involved. I spend a good chunk of money getting 30 sets of my letter, PTSD and cannabis studies, plus copies of War Without End copied for the legislators I hope to meet and talk  with.  I am sometimes sick to my stomach at the thought that medical cannabis bill either won't be passed, or will be vetoed by Gov Abbot. That means two more years of being a criminal.  Two more years of suffering.  Why???  To what end???  I am having to fight for my medicine.  I also have a real problem calling and talking to the staff.. it triggers me back to the time I was being attacked in the service..and makes me feel like hiding in a hole. This.. is soo sooo hard to get out and do.  But I will do my best, for myself, my fellow veterans, for the children of Texas, especially Team Alexis. Brave little Alexis has had to move to Colorado to get the anti-seizure medicine that works best for her.(UPDATE 3/24/15 ITS NOW BEEN 22 DAYS) now that she is on a mix of CBD and THC oil, and while she was having seizures or trembles all the time before,SHE HAS NOT HAD ONE SEIZURE SINCE STARTING THE CANNABIS OIL!!!!  I'd say that bears repeating, SHE HAS NOT HAD ONE SEIZURE SINCE STARTING THE CANNABIS OIL!!!! 
How can that be a coincidence??? Her parents never expected it to work as well as it is.  The last big seizure left her with stroke like symptoms afterwards, so her parents made the heart breaking decision to relocate her, to SAVE HER LIFE.  Now, please realize, that this child can't come back to Texas until we change the law. The reason she can't come back to see her grandparents, family and friends is that CPS could take her away from her parents (who seem to have saved her life by taking her to CO) because she is a child with cannabis in her system.  Horror of horrors! 0.o  So as I have said many times, I do not fight just for myself, but now, especially that Alexis can't be here to fight for herself, I promise to fight till the last day of the session for her. And if we do not accomplish it this year, I will not stop. My reps will hear from me for the next two years, and until they step up and change the law.  

So, today was the last day for bills to be filed here in Texas.  Next round is two years from now.  Today,  whole plant medical bills were filed in both the House and the Senate.  This is very important to me, because I need whole plant to deal with my service connected PTSD and various pains, spasms, anxiety, insomnia and other malfunctions.  Cannabis by far is the least amount of dangerous chemicals. Far better then anything else I could take. I have talked at length about how the VA's meds turned me into a unfunctioning zombie.  I could not drive and had zero quality of life. In addition to that, I had to have my organs and heart checked for the psychiatric meds damage

Being a medical cannabis advocate is a part of my therapy at the Vet Center. And this past Mon, I had a general appt with my VA doc, Dr. P.  She asked how things were going, if I needed any more psychiatric meds.  I told her no, I am being 'illegally healed' by cannabis. She smiled and nodded.  TAKE NOTE LEGISLATORS OR STAFF THAT COME TO READ THIS:  My VA doc, says that YES, cannabis is the best medicine for my PTSD.  Off the record, but she wants to be able to say it on the record.  She is 100000% in favor of my going to Austin and working to change the law.  Bless her heart, she also helps keep me sane in that she sees the SCIENCE behind cannabis and KNOWS and AGREES that it will help me, and other veterans.  Listen up folks, SHE IS THE DOCTOR!!!  With all due respect, the vast majority of Legislators are NOT DOCTORS! Why, why are you torturing us with a refusal to see the benefits of cannabis???  You can NOT say you support veterans if you turn your back on the bills below... because you are turning your back on US- we who put our lives and minds on the line for America.  Here in Texas, 76% of folks feel medical cannabis should be legal. Please, don't say you are ignorant enough to believe that reefer madness bs. 

I got in a conversation with a Korean war vet at the car dealership waiting for my tires to get done today. All these years later, he still jumps at slamming doors and firecrackers.  He would be THRILLED to be able to use medical cannabis he said, and his wife would be glad for him too she said.  He's heard lots of good things about it, but he doesn't want to risk his home and family by using it.  What the heck???  Hasn't he more then earned the right to use a HERB to help himself?

Alcohol and chemical drugs are TOO dangerous! 

For folks that don't realize that cannabis has been a medicine in the past, here's this:

Below are the bills that have been filed for this legislative session.

2015 Legislative Session
Bills Filed 

We have reached the filing deadline! No more bills can be filed in the Texas Legislature for the 2015 Legislative Session.

Texas NORML has compiled a list of bills you need to know about for the 2015 Legislative Session. We advise you to set up an account on My TLO so that you can follow the bill’s progress or sign up for our Texas NORML ENewsletter so that you can get Action Alerts and Legislative Updates. We encourage you to prepare (find resourceshere and here) to contact your Texas Legislators and ask them to co-author, co-sponsor or support the following bills. Find out more here and here.

HB 2615 – Repeal Marijuana Prohibition – Authored by Representative David Simpson (R). This bill would repeal all marijuana offenses in Texas statutes. Read Representative Simpson’s release here.

HB 507 and SB 1417– Civil Penalties – Authored by Representative Joe Moody (D) and Senator Rodney Ellis (D). This bill would reduce possession of a once or less of marijuana to a $100 fine, removing the criminal penalty and making it a civil penalty.Review the highlights of the bill here.  View the current penalties here.

HB 3785 and SB 1839 – Texas Comprehensive Medical Marijuana – Authored byRepresentative Marisa Marquez (D) and Senator Jose Menendez (D). The bills establish a framework for dispensaries, growers, and manufacturers to provide seriously ill patients with the medicine they need.  The qualifying conditions are far broader than other bills, and would include:  cancer, glaucoma, HIV/AIDS, Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, Alzheimer's, PTSD, and conditions causing wasting, severe pain, severe nausea, seizures or sever muscle spasms. Registered patients (and their caregivers) would be free from fear of arrest and could legally possess up to 2.5 ounces of marijuana. They’d also be permitted to grow up to six plants in their home, three of which could be mature plants estimated to yield four ounces each per year. Read the highlights of the bills hereRead more here.

HB 837 – Affirmative Defense – Authored by Representative Elliot Naishtat (D). This would provide patients and caregivers a defense in court if caught possessing marijuana and would protect doctors from losing their licenses for discussing marijuana. Read more hereAnd here.

HB 414 – Decriminalize One Once or Less – Authored by Representative Harold Dutton (D). This bill would lower the penalty for possession of one ounce of marijuana from a Class B to a Class C Criminal Misdemeanor. Learn about Criminal Penalties in Texas hereView the current penalties here.

HB 892 & SD 339 - Limited CBD Only Bills - Authored by Representative Stephanie Klick (R) and Senator Kevin Eltife (R). These bills would allow for CBD only medicines to be used for people with intractable epilepsy in extreme cases. Review this information on CBD vs whole plant and Texas NORML’s opinion here.

HB 557 – Research Hemp – Authored by Representative Joe Farias (D). This bill would allow for the growth or cultivation of industrial hemp for certain research purposes.

HB 1322 Industrial Hemp - Authored by Representative Joe Farias (D). This bill would allow for the growth or cultivation of industrial hemp for industrial/agricultural purposes.

HB 325 – Decriminalize 0.325 oz or Less – Authored by Representative Gene Wu (D). This bill would lower the penalty for possession of 0.325 oz or less of marijuana from a Class B to a Class C Criminal Misdemeanor. Learn about Criminal Penalties in Texas hereView the current penalties here.

We encourage you to reach out to YOUR Texas State Representative and Texas State Senator and encourage them to Co-Sponsor these bills. Then please contact the Committee Members and request a hearing to be scheduled. Finally, please take a moment to thank each of the courageous legislators!

We also welcome you to come and visit the FIRST Cannabis Education Exhibit put on by Texas NORML and our Coalition, Texans for Responsible Marijuana Policy, at the Capitol Building from March 16th-20th. Learn more here. There will also be a Patient Lobby Day on March 25th and a Caregiver Lobby Day on March 26th. And see how ourCitizen Lobby Day on February 18th went here. And please keep our Lobby Campaigngoing by becoming a donor here!
Your Texas NORML Team

Well, that's it for this post.  I'll fill ya'll in when I get back from Austin,

Over and out,

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Triggered by a movie - Again....

Welcome Friends and Readers,

So, a movie got me again.  This time, it was the movie Fury.   I wanted to watch it, although K had some concerns. I don't like thinking I'm a wimp, and can't even handle a movie.  And this one was a WWll movie, and I thought I could handle it.  Until the scene with the new bootie. A kid just in for 8 weeks, and his first job was to clean the up blood and brain's of his predecessor in the tank.  The kid has to come out and puke part way through it... and I had to close my eyes.

What started the anxiety attack... was the look in Brad Pitt's eyes as he watched the kid, knowing what was to come, what he would face, what he would see..what he would feel.  He tells the kid not to get close to anyone. I could relate too much.. having been young and so trusting, so gullible, so innocent. I saw that same look on the faces of some of my fellow lady sailors who had a good idea what the asshats raping me were up to. Pity.  Inability to help. And I had that look for some of them too.  We were all powerless to stop what was happening, any more then that young soldier in WW2 could say he wanted to go home, instead of rumbling to the front.

 The scene that got me really bad came a few minutes later is when  the tanks are rolling, and the kid thinks he sees someone in the bushes. As he peers for a better look, the tank in front of him is shot with a missile of some sort, and explodes in flames.  The top pop's open and a soldier engulfed in flames falls out screaming.. then the flaming man stands up, take his pistol and shoots himself in the head, and falls.  My first thought was 'Thank God he had that pistol".. and then I started shaking very badly.. uh oh... before I know it, I am rocking and sobbing. K has stopped the movie and is comforting me.  I tell him, I don't want to be a wimp.  He says I am not.. that I have been through so much, more then he ever could have, and that takes strength, and that I am not a wimp.  He is also apologizing over and over for having let me watch the movie.  K plays the game Tanks with some of his buddies, and he is very interested in history. He is very sane and stable (thank God) and has been my rock while I have had my breakdown. He has held the shattered me gently and supported me in all ways.  I know some of my good friends are online, and so I tell him I'll go pop in and visit with them while he watches the rest of the movie.  He suggests I go have some 'medicine', and asks if I am sure sure that I am okay.  Now, it took about 10 min before I could stop shaking and have this conversation with him.  

This all hits when I least expect it.  I can barely to go movies in the theatre anymore, because I won't let us spend that kind of money, just to have to flee.  I can't go some places for the same reason.  Someone or thing triggers me, and I need to leave.  K has to deal with this every day.  I try so hard to be solid.. but sometimes... I feel like a diseased leaf, fluttering before a wind I cannot see nor control.  Up and up.. swirling around.  I want to be grounded, I want to be solid. I want to go places and be strong.  But.... I am accpeting.. that I have to avoid war movies.  And other ones..  I had the same terrible affect when we went to see one of the Hunger Games movies.... Donald Southerland was soo awful, so horrible.. that he WAS the face of the men who attacked and raped me. Same smirk.. same self satisfied power trip.  

The two things that have helped, have been the therapy I have been getting at the Vet Center, and medical cannabis.   And now, advocating for medical cannabis, is giving me a shred of the illusion of control of my life.  My life, and sanity are in the hands of the politicians in Austin.  Going there to meet and speak with them, is very powerful for me.  It is making me proactive.  So is letter writing.. So towards that, I did my handwriting letters to my two Texas state reps.  

I hope they read them, and it touches their hearts.  And they will help us.  I read something else that got me very, very upset today. And it was this article:

I posted this to facebook:

Wow, so the aprox 22 veterans who commit suicide a day - Is from 2012, and is the stats from ONLY 21 STATES, & that DOESNT INCLUDE TEXAS - THE state with the MOST VETERANs per capita!!!! And DOESN'T INCLUDE CALIFORNIA either. Geeesh I had no idea - did YOU? (David Bass?) Holy friggin moly....all the more reason to fight for cannabis for PTSD and other ailments veterans have.
February 24, 2015
WOODLAND PARK, CO - In a public statement issued today, Roger Martin, Executive Director of Operation Grow4Vets, accused the Veterans Administration of murdering more than fifty Veterans a day.
According to Martin, “More than fifty American heroes are being murdered every day of the year by incompetent, heartless, bonus-driven bureaucrats at the Veterans Administration.”
When asked if “murder” might not be a rather harsh label, Martin responded, “What would you call people who, despite knowing that their actions are killing people, continue to order doctors to violate their Hippocratic Oath by shoving totally ineffective, dangerous prescription drugs down the throats of their patients? I call them murderers!”
Martin notes that, “On February 12, 2015, President Obama signed The Clay Hunt Suicide Prevention for American Veterans Act named in honor of a much-decorated Marine Corps combat Veteran who took his own life on March 31, 2011.
Clay Hunt was a true American hero in every sense of the word. Like far too many Veterans, he suffered from the aftereffects of war. Worse yet, his death was the direct result of the quagmire of red tape known as the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. This quote from Hunt was included in his obituary, published by The Washington Post. It is but one example of what Hunt had to deal with after returning home:
“You fight for your country, then come home and have to fight against your own country for the benefits you were promised,” Mr. Hunt told the Los Angeles Times in 2010. “I can track my pizza from Pizza Hut on my BlackBerry, but the VA can’t find my claim for four months.”
Martin labelled the signing ceremony a “dog and pony show” and something most of the politicians in attendance simple saw as another opportunity to gain political points under the false pretense of being pro-Veteran.
Martin went on to say that he watched the entire 22 minutes and 53 seconds of this ceremony and the President made the statement that, “Sometimes talk is cheap.” Most importantly, President Obama also noted that “…. American hero, Clay Hunt, struggled to find the right medicine to help him with his PTSD.” Martin’s message to the President, “The right medicine is cannabis, Mr. President.’”
All Veterans are asking is that the President walk-the-walk. He can order the VA to mandate that their doctors offer Veterans cannabis as a safe alternative to the deadly drug cocktails that, once again, killed at least 50 Veterans today….just like they did yesterday….just like they do every day of the year.
It is an unfortunate fact that VA medical personnel have their treatment options unethically restricted by the Veterans Administration. Too many of these people are concerned only about keeping America’s bravest in a drug-induced stupor until they either give up hope and take their own lives, or die from a prescription drug overdose. Far too many Vets are being forced to take 10, 15, 20, or more different drugs a day.
Martin is calling on VA medical providers to stand up for their patients by demanding that VA administrators allow them to recommend cannabis as a safe treatment alternative.
Many Operation Grow4Vets members have been able to either reduce or completely eliminate deadly prescription drugs from their treatment regimen. “Countless Veterans have told me that cannabis is the ONLY thing that has ever helped them in dealing with the horrors of PTSD,” Martin says.
The VA claims that twenty-two Veterans take their own lives every single day of the year. Martin wears a “22” dog tag around his neck in honor and remembrance of those lost American heroes. This number now seems to be touted in virtually all Veteran-related media coverage.
Until a few days ago, even Martin accepted that twenty-two might at least be somewhere in the ballpark. He was wrong!
Here are the true facts: The twenty-two number comes from a 2012 study conducted by the VA that included statistics from only twenty-one states. And, of the twenty-one states that supposedly provided numbers for this study, twenty-three percent of the reported deaths had no ‘cause of death’ classification listed at all.
Worse yet is the fact that Texas, which has a population of almost 27 million people and is home to almost 1.6 million Veterans, was NOT included in the study. Neither was another state that the VA must consider statistically - insignificant - California! That’s another 38.8 million people of which nearly 1.9 million are Veterans. From just these two states, alone, the study omitted 65.8 million people and a Veteran population of at least 3.5 million.
Operation Grow4Vets has scheduled seventeen of their Cannabis Giveaway events in Colorado in 2015. The next event is:
February 28, 2015 — Denver, Colorado (11:00 AM - 2:00 PM)
Quality Inn Central Denver
200 West 48th Avenue
A second event will be held on the following Sunday:
March 8, 2015 — Colorado Springs, Colorado (11:00 AM - 2:00 PM)
DoubleTree by Hilton
1775 East Cheyenne Mountain Blvd.
About Operation Grow4Vets – The mission of Operation Grow4Vets is to help reduce the staggering number of Veterans who die each day from suicide and prescription drug overdose. We provide Veterans with the knowledge and resources necessary to obtain or grow their own marijuana for treatment of their medical conditions. We are working to raise awareness by enlisting the public’s aid and support in ensuring that all injured and wounded Veterans receive the respect and dignity of life that they deserve. Our purpose is to provide Veterans with unique products, programs and services designed to assist them in living with injuries sustained while protecting our freedom. Operation Grow4Vets is a national, nonpartisan organization headquartered in Colorado. To get involved or to learn more, visit
Individuals can show their appreciation for the sacrifices that America’s heroes have made by making a donation online at:, by sending a check to: Operation Grow4Vets, Post Office Box 4348, Woodland Park, CO 80866, or at any Operation Grow4Vets event.
Cannabis related activities are conducted only within jurisdictions allowing such activities. Operation Grow4Vets is a 501(c)(19) nonprofit, exemption pending organization.
Press Contact:
Robyn Peterson
Media Relations
(720) 296-9230
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I am asking any who come here, to please, do you best to help us change the laws, so that we can stop the horrors of this suicide epidemic.  I wanted to kill myself too.. and cannabis is the only thing that kept me above the water.  I NEED  THC, that horrid chemical that makes one feel HAPPIER.... when folks say, "Oh, that THC will get you high".. as if that is the worst thing in the world. I replace it as my grandma did, with HAPPY.  I remember her saying "what on earth is wrong with a medicine that makes us feel HAPPIER AND BETTER???"   So when you are all up in it about keeping THC away from anyone that it make make 'high'... try changing that word with HAPPY.. and see what that brings to the context.  

Over and Out,

Friday, February 20, 2015

Welcome and Reposting some Links for Newcomers

Welcome Friends and Readers,

Well.. so.. now I am.. out of my own closet.  I have put my name here. GULP... but I do it for myself, and for others.  For the Legislators and their staffs that I hope will come here, you gotta know who I am and that I am a resident of the Great State of Texas.  

First... here is a link to: The Invisible War

... I wrote much about it lower down, but for ease here it is easy to find.  Please take a moment and watch the trailer.  It sets the stage for who I am, and what happened to me, and my survival of the Invisible War. It was nominated for an Oscar for best documentary two years ago.  The producer has been here, and sent me some Invisible War dog tags, for myself, and for the ladies in my group. I wear it when I have to go do 'battle' for justice.

The next, is a link to "Should Grandma Smoke Pot". 

Which  I include, cuz yeah, she did while she was free to.  This is in memory of my Grandma Ruth who intervened alongside my Uncle with me, because I was about to follow my brother into death from alcohol alone, they wanted me to use cannabis instead, and it saved my life. If Ruth could have put something together, it would be like this.   Most importantly,it shows Irv Rosenfeld, and he talks about the prescription can of 300 joints a month that the FEDs have been sending him for THIRTY years.  Yes, you read that right, 300 joints a month, for 30 years.  From the Feds.  Prescription. Watch the video, even if you think you fully disagree with it!  See it with your own eyes!  

I am now gearing up to go to PACT day on Feb 24th and then I want to spend the week in Austin at the Capitol Building Educational Exhibit - TRMP Coalition.

Back when I first came forward, and I had my first Vet Center doc, Dr. L, and I was so shocked that I had broken down to the degree that I could no longer work. She had me file for disability. I remember so clearly saying to her "But doc, I"ve worked since I was 14, I don't know how to NOT work! And she replied "You've always done volunteer work in addition to your paid work, so now, just see it that the Govt is paying you to do volunteer work when are you well enough to do it. Use the opportunity to do the good works you never had time for in the past becuse of how hard you worked for so many years,  And, she was right, I did literacy tutoring for years, and then in my last 15 working years, I also did hospice volunteer work. I didn't feel at the moment like I could even keep my head up. But now, a couple of years later, in this Legislative year, I have had to come back. I knew it was coming and I used last year to travel and prepare, and I have hit the groundrunning. This is my way of turning a negative into a positive.

I have lost dear friends whom opiates have killed, who alcohol has killed, who cancer has 
killed. I believe medical cannabis could have saved their lives. Cannabis - it DOESN'T KILL. An 'over dose' can make you shaky and or sleepy, and perhaps scared if you are someplace its illegal. But... none of that will kill you. Stopping smoking cannabis.. some irritability, some difficult sleeping maybe. A return of the terrible symptoms you were using itffor-most likely. When folks ask 'are you addicted?', I'd say not anymore then I am to my cholesterol pills, or other meds the VA gives me to keep me healthy. I would surely BE addicted if I used the pain pills the VA would give me for my smashed jaw and ankle. So myanswer is a hearty NO, I am not. What I AM, is alive and functioning, and being able to stand up and help others too!

I have listened to folks rag on California's medical program. Having lived in a medical state, I watched things get better first hand. I watched the dealers disappear, I watched empty buildings get filled. I watched the community come together to help each other. On the app Weedmaps, folks reviewed different dispensaries, and any that were shady quickly died cuz no one would use them.
Some of the larger dispensaries held cooking classes, had free massages for patients, has support groups for veterans and a wide variety of illnesses. It was NOT the horrible mess folks who have never lived there say it is. yes, you can get a recommendation for it for just about anything, because it HELPS just about everything. The security guards at the dispensaries loved working there as opposed to bars. They said folks never fight, were polite, and no one puked on them. Once you have lived in it, you see the reality. Folks who use cannabis are the easiest to arrest. Mellow, and as the guards said, often very polite. We are easy money for them. Things in Colorado have gotten better, not worse. All crime is down, teen use down, drunk driving down - and taxes are up so much the state may be giving refunds! It's time to stop destroying lives of patients and families because the police and sheriff's don't wanna lose their easy meal ticket!!!
I also do this in memory of my grandma Ruth... she was a retired school principle, and she was always furious that the Govt's lies had made her a criminal for using cannabis.  I am a 3rd generation medical cannabis user.  Well, I guess more then that, because many times Grandma Ruth told me the story of when she was about 12, and her family doctor had to tell Great Grandma that he was very sorry, but that he couldn't give her the cannabis or hemp oils the he brought her every month, and had for as long as Grandma could remember.  Great Grandma used it for everything from muscle spasms, teething, colicky babies, 'lady problems' (aka menstrual cramps) irritability, anxiety, insomnia, and a whole host of  both internal and external illness's.  The Doc had to tell her that marijuana had been made illegal, and Great Grandma said she didn't want any of that marywana stuff, but she wanted her cannabis.  Doc told her that it was the same thing, and Grandma said there wasn't anything wrong or dangerous with cannabis.  The Doc agreed, and said that a bureaucrat had pulled the wool over the eyes of the Washington crowd.  It was a big upset, and really had some drastic consequences on my grandma's family.  The discussion was so loud and passionate that Grandma says it made a huge impression on her. And Great Grandma, lost all confidence in anything the Govt was involved with after that.  
So my Grandma, and my Uncle, who was a very successful aviation engineer used it, as well as my biological father, who used it for his Parkesons, and to get off alcohol, he had damaged his liver past surviving, and when he moved to N. Carolina in his latter years, he had no access to it, and the drugs didn't help, but toxified him.  So I am a multi generational medical cannabis user.  
I want to have control of my life, I don't want to be a zombie.  I'd prefer to be doing hospice volunteer work, but I will keep in this battle until it is won.
Thanks for coming and reading.  Please leave a comment if you are so inclined.
I'll keep posting as this journey continues, just like my doc wants me too.
God  Bless you everyone.. and God Bless Texas, and the USA.
Over and out,

Thursday, February 19, 2015

First (but not the last) Day at the Texas State Capitol!

Greetings friends and readers,
The Beautiful Texas State Capitol

Some 300 cannabis advocates showed up to lobby with our Texas legislators yesterday!
Here are some links to some stories about it that came out today.

Yesterday, I got up at 5am, which is HUGE for me, cuz I am not an early bird, but it was for an excellent cause.  My good friend J agreed to go with me, and Houston Norml arrange a bus ride for us with RAMP, ( Republicans Against Marijuana Prohibition) a great group.  Now I am a dyed in the wool non-partisan voter, but I do have some tendencies from both sides.  In this case, I couldn't have ended up with a better group.  My friend J and I were part of the 'patients' group.  I have been working on this goal for a long time, and going back and forth with my letter with Tracy,  Texas Norml's patient coordinator and she's been awesome. She only had me change a couple of things in my letter, and she said it will do for my testimony too.  

This is a copy of the testimony I provided in my packet. And yeah, it does have my acutal name on it. I am coming out of the closet I guess. If you click on it, you should be able to read it.  0.o If you can't read it, then here is the body of it:

Honorable Senator, Legislator or Representative,
I am a proud Texas Veteran, 100% disabled with PTSD from four years of military sexual trauma (1976-1980), including one by an Iranian pilot who had 'diplomatic immunity' and I was told it was 'National Security" and I was given a direct order to never discuss it. I suffered other rapes and beatings during those four years by supervisors on 2 bases, being threatened with being thrown out in disgrace if I spoke up. I followed orders. I survived. I got my Honorable discharge and used the GI Bill.  I buried it when I got out, thinking it would go away. It didn't, instead, it ruined much of my life until my total mental breakdown in Dec of 2011. I lost my career, home and family and have had to start all over again.   Since then, I've had to face those ugly truths to try and heal.  Dispite all that, I am still a patriot who would do it all again, even knowing what would happen. That great is my love for my country.

 If not for medical cannabis recommended to me in Calif by my WW2 veteran Uncle, I would not be here. I was well on my way to drinking myself to death over the secrets I was commanded not to talk about. I never even told my mom the truth that I was beaten so bad I couldn't have kids. Every day was torture, until I smoked some cannabis with my Uncle. Then, things began to lighten up, even before it all came out. Drinking would have killed me like it did my older brother who died from alcohol poisoning, which is why my Uncle intervened, he could see how close behind my brother I was.

I will be visiting the Capitol several times this session to share my story and testify at bill hearings.  I look forward to meeting you  as my elected Representative, and have a heart to heart discussion about what your biggest concerns are about implementing medical cannabis for the sick and dying in our state.  Currently, roughly 22 veterans a day kill themselves. I am sure that medical cannabis could have saved some of those lives, like it did for my Uncle and I, and many of the friends I have.

I've have  tried all the different psychiatric meds the VA prescribes.  Some of them have terrible, terrible side effects, they made me want to die... really. But medical cannabis helps in ways I can't even describe. My Vet Center therapist has strongly encourage me to be a part of changing the medical cannabis laws as a part of my therapy.  Of course, she has to say that 'off the record' to keep her job, but God Bless her for helping keep me on the planet with her open mindedness.  I do this for her also, so that she can honestly talk to veterans about this as a legal option.  She had read the research and scientific papers on how cannabis helps with PTSD.  You will also untie her hands to help us veterans!!! 

My grandma, who used it for her arthritis and depression encouraged me to use it instead of alcohol as well. There are sooo many folks this can help, but please, for those of us that put our lives on the line, and those of us that lost much of our sanity, this IS a vital medicine.  And it NEEDS TO BE WHOLE PLANT, NOT JUST CBD.  I tried CBD only in California, and it did NOT help me. I do not support the CBD only bills as CBD only leaves the majority of people with no help.

As 'for the children'.. well,  I am sure you have already heard of brave little Alexis Bortell and her fight to secure her right to medical cannabis in Texas to treat her severe seizures.  She is fighting for all Texans, and I in return fight for her, FOR ALL OUR CHILDREN.  It is shameful that now, Alexis has had to move to Colorado to get the medicine she needs, and I fully expect you to help pass a law to bring her home.

Along with medical studies; I am also enclosing a copy of the article War Without End by William Martin of the Baker Institue,  that was published this past June in the Texas Monthly on behalf of myself, and my fellow veterans. I am the Myst written about in the article.  William apologized that he was only able to tell half of my story.... because the editors felt it was too strong and would take away from the subject of medical cannabis and make it more about military sexual trauma.  Imagine that.. having lived a story so ugly they could only tell half of it. 

Please go to my blog below and read more if you wish to know it. All my paperwork that I filed with the VA is there.. the first hand accounts of the almost destruction of a soul... one that cannabis gave some smiles back to, even in the midst of remembering the horrors.

I pray you have the open heart to listen and help us.  Thank you for your service to this great state of Texas!

Romana R. Harrison     

Contact Info:   

I got very good in my professional life at putting together informational packets for different things.  I know how important it is to have a good impact on folks.  So I output some cash and made some nice looking packages.  They had 2 studies about cannabis and PTSD that Tracy helped me with too, And a copy of the article, War Without End that I was interviewed for.  
This is the list of legislative Representatives offices that RAMP organized for us to go. Sorry its so blurry, but you can see there were 6 of them, and then we did one extra.

It was an amazing, although very difficult day.  I had to tell my story to 7 different groups of people.  The first time I told my story with the patients team I was with... there was a distinct shocked silence.  My friend J knew my story... but that was it.  I was shocked again as I told it.  I could never do this, if this subject of medical cannabis wasn't so terribly important to me.   Thank goodness for our wonderful patient team leader Bonnie, who got us all to where we needed to be, and was able to combine  all our testimony, and had great answers to the staff and legislators.  I mean WOW!!!  And it was... cathartic indeed, to have a hand in both changing law.. and meeting with folks I don't know, and having to tell my deeply personal story.  At one point, later in the day, we had just been speaking to a legislator's staff, and he came back.  He originally only had a moment, and so Bonnie said, "Well, if you only have time for one story, then I would like this lady to tell you hers." and pointed to ME.  GULP.... my first actual Representative.  He listened.. but he defiantly had a different point of view.  There were a couple of mothers of kids with autism, and spoke from their hearts about how much it had helped their kids.  And a mom with a son with epilepsy that CBD only won't treat.  And a young lady with a severe case of pancrititis... and cannabis is one of the few things that helps her. 

At the beginning of the year, our Vet Center doc has us come up with 2 goals to accomplish between now and March.  I don't know if I have written here about my ex not having filed the taxes for 12 years that I thought he had... as he was a f'ing atty and I gave him paperwork and signed taxes... but he never sent them in... so I have had to get a tax atty to help me figure this mess out, and two weeks ago, I got 10 years of taxes filed.  And last week, sent off an offer and compromise to the IRS.  So my #1 goal after finding out this horrid news (only because I did a credit check on myself and saw a $92,000 tax lien that about gave me a heart attack, and I have been scuttling money away to pay for the atty and now the fees) was to get this taken care of.  So, that has been accomplished.

 My second goal, was to go to Austin to lobby and advocate for medical cannabis, and to support HB 507, which makes possession of 1 ounce or less a ticketable offense.  No arrest, no jail, no record.  Texas is waaaay behind the curve on this.   Anyways.. to as of yesterday, that goal was accomplished.  I feel today like I was hit by a truck... quite exhausted. No sooner had I got in last night, then I was contacted by Tracy again, and asked if I would come to the PACT, (Patients Alliance for Cannabis Therapeutics) next Tue.  I had thought I wouldn't... but now.. I think I need to.  It's only once every two years here in TX, and now is the time.  Some 350 cannabis advocates descended on the Texas Capitol yesterday, as you can see in the top picture.  And not all of us are in that pic, I'm not as I ended up with another group.  

The rotunda of the Texas State Capitol

 A True Texan Hero... this is Ann Lee, founder of RAMP (Republicans Against Marijuana Prohibition) being interviewed just moments after we walked into the capitol.  I have a exceptionally soft spot for Ann, because the first time I ever heard of her was at the Baker Institute panel on PTSD and cannabis.  In that entry I refer to her as the 'elderly lady'  who had stood up and spoke so very passionately. She especially took them to task for how cannabis was made illegal in the first place.  So when I knew I would be riding on the RAMP bus from Houston, I didn't think she would be there.   Her husband Bob just passed away this weekend, and yet, bless her heart, there she was.  She had several special appts to go to, so she was not with the patients group I was with.  It was beyond inspirational to have her on the bus, and then listen to her talk to this young reporter who came and asked her to tell her story.  She started out to prove to someone that cannabis was evil, then found out how it came to be illegal. Then her son had a terrible accident and had to move to CA to be able to use medical cannabis legally.  As a mother, like so many here I know, she is outraged.  And I am thrilled to have been able to be there on that historic day with her. Here are some links to stories about her that came out today.

 The lady standing up in the pic is Bonnie, our team leader and wonderful lobbyier!  The big seated fellow is a Dr. who was in our group... wish I could remember his name (edited, I found him in this clip,) he is Dr. Elias Jackson..  He was fantastic telling the staffers and the legislator about some of the science of cannabis.  He was also excellent at saying why just CBD doesn't work alone and that cannabis is an 'entourage' plant, and needs the whole part of it to work at its best. The lady to his left is one of the mothers there to testify about how much cannabis helps her austic son, that like me, it gives him his life back.
This, is taken on the bus after the busy, busy day of meetings.  Was glad I wore my ankle brace as it kept my ankle from flopping at a 90% angle at the wrong time.  It was a beautiful day as you can see.  And I will be back!!!!

Today, I have been writing my TX State rep, and my State Senator.  I plan on meeting up with them, hopefully next week if I can. It has been very therapeutic for me, although it is very hard to tell my story.  I am working on turning the negatives of the past, into a positive right now.  

If you have come from either my letter or my card... thank you. And I please do ask.. if you have any power or are in Texas.. to please contact your local reps about these issues.

Over and out,