Thursday, March 26, 2015

This Is Some Hard Stuff to read...

Greetings Friends and Readers,

I had great trip to Austin, and I can't thank Zoe enough for opening her home to me and giving me a place to crash.  And for being so incredibly supportive. And to all the folks that I have met in this journey.  Well.. most of them. And thanks to Cara for also being so helpful and supportive in showing showing me the right offices to go to, and how to sign up for testimony.

Going on these trips... and being around all those people is very difficult for me.  Each step I have to take with lost ones in mind to take the next step. I picture my Grandma Ruth by my side when going down the halls of the State Capitol in Austin.  

The hardest when the time comes for me to have to tell my story... tell why medical cannabis is so important to me.  I feel that moment before I begin to speak... my throat chokes up, my heart races and I murmur to myself.. "Here we go..".  Has telling this ugly story over and over helped any?  Well, some.  But... it also brings it all back. It reminds me of the immersion therapy that I turned down. I didn't WANT to have to live it over and over. And yet.... for this cause, for Wendi...for Michelle... for all those lost to suicide, opiates, alcohol or cancer.. I have to.  But lemme tell you.. opening your mouth, and the words come out.. and you see the shock, outrage, and ... pity.... on the faces as you tell the story.. is like a plow churning up my heart.  Even writing this.. the bare and raw feelings.. hurts. But because I now have  a larger, and different audience then I've had in the past... I realize.. that I have to share it.  I need YOU... yes YOU.. the reader.. to read and feel.. You'll never understand... but perhaps, it will inspire you to help if you are not already.  

As I tell the story.. I can feel that Iranian pilot beating me again,  saying the words I didn't understand 'diplomatic immunity'... I remember him telling me I'd never have children.. I could feel.. horrid humiliation as he wanted me to, the searing pain as he did things to me I'd never experienced. I remember waking in sick bay.. being commanded to tell who had done this.. my weeping.. the sudden shock and silence when I named my attacker, then I remember the 'oh fuck, not again' from someone in the room before they all fled from me.   I  .. remember.. the nurse's kind and soft words... so sad as she tells me I'll never have children... at 17...I was too numb and drugged to feel the full impact of her words, the fulfillment of what my attacker had told me... as was the next part...  I especially remember the rain droplets like little diamonds on the long black coat of the man who  hissed a Direct Command to me to never, ever tell anyone what had happened, including my own mother......words of National Security.. diplomatic immunity... how he scared me more then my attacker...that I would be taken back to the barracks and I would tell everyone that I had fallen down the stairs late at night.  My throat chokes up.. and it's Lonnie, holding my up off the ground by my throat again, my feet kicking and trying to touch the ground... choking me into almost unconsciousness before he throws me to the ground and shoves his terrible, disgusting member down my throat, gagging me.. and then shoving me into the dirt as he does more evil  upon me. I feel the despair and rage when I see him with the Capt's arm around him as best buddies in off time, and he sneers at me. He holds up the key to my room and I know.. he's gotten something hidden. I saw someone try to escape him, and be slut shamed, charged with adultery, although she wasn't married, and drummed out of the Navy in dishonorable disgrace. I know he's won and there isn't any damn thing I can do but try to survive one more day.. to get out of 'this MAN's Navy' (His words) alive.  

I can't begin to explain the horror of that life.. day after day.. being a sadist's play toy, the despair I felt.. and how I just gave up even trying to advance... the shame in that in itself, and in turn also used against me to show what a loser I was.  But.. I did.. survive.. but I did not begin to live, until my Uncle did his intervention on me, and convinced me to use cannabis instead of alcohol to try and deal with whatever was murdering me from inside that I couldn't even tell him.. my most beloved Uncle about.. because of that Direct Order..that ruled my life for 35 years.  But.. he did save my life.. unlike my brother who died a few months before from alcohol poisoning.  Treatment at the Vet Center (NOT the VA) is giving some threads of sanity. 

Then.. I have to speak.. and I have to take that horror, and try not to shock my audience too much. 

Medical cannabis has helped with all this, more then I can say. The pharmaceuticals didn't help at all, only made it worse. I choose medical cannabis.  I don't want to be a criminal.  Today, I have my little cookie in me, and I can write this.. I can.. talk about.. and not have to re-experience what else I remember...

the cold of the gun under my chin. 
my finger on the trigger...
tears as I wanted the images of my past to just

and then.. I do as my beloved Uncle recommended to me.. I go have a puff of cannabis for breakthrough if my cookie isn't enough. And then.. I feel the relaxation.. the feeling of 'well being'.. in spite or rather dispite my past.

And then.. I can now guird myself up for another day, as a cannabis warrior here in Texas. 
I want to stop and retire.. I want to be able to STOP FIGHTING FOR MY MEDICINE.  I want Alexis to be able to come home to Texas.  23 days and no seizures since she had to move to Colorado.  I long for the day I can say she is safely home.  Please.. please help me do that if you are friend, staff, Legislator, caring citizen.

Tomorrow, I head to Austin again.. to take my package to Myrna Crownover, the head of the Health Committe here.  I pray and send energy that she will open her mind.. for she unknowingly triggered me very badly last Tue in the Capitol.  She was in the hall, as we were going by.. and said to someone on  our team "Yeah, I know, ya'll just wanna smoke pot and get high".  I .. was .. gobsmacked... outraged.. furious... TRIGGERED. NOOOOOO I wanted to wail..... I just wanna.. LIVE.. I WANT ALEXIS TO COME HOME.. I WANT SO MANY TO HAVE MEDICINE.." She has no idea that it was like stabbing me both in the heart, and back at the same time.  I forgive her her ignorace.. she must belive the lies my Grandma taught me about when I was young.. so I can understand. So I pray.. I pray hard.. when I can't do anything else but murmur to God.. soften her heart.. open her mind.. 

I broke down at group on Mon when I recounted the above scene..  my therapist.. shook her head and told me... how proud she is of me.. for going.. telling OUR story (for I am far from the only one) she said she supports me, and medical cannabis 100%... as do all the other ladies in my group. Another one also uses cannabis like myself.. the others are too afraid of what would happen if they get caught. But I hear of the side effects, I see a sister warrior on VA psyc drugs too out of it to hardly comprehend what we are even talking about.  

I am waaaay out of my comfort zone in so many ways now.  I also feel God's Hand firmly on my shoulder as I put each foot forward to do what I am now.  I never, ever wanted to have to tell people this story..but I am doing it for myself, my fellow warriors, for Alexis, the children and all the good citizens of Texas.

Sat... I will volunteering at Willie Nelson's Putt n Puff, a fund raiser to help veterans with trying to change the cannabis laws.  Another matter of walking my talk.  I am driving there myself.. I am staying at an Airbnb place about 20 min from the venue.  I'l come back on Sun.  I am nervous but also excited.  

Well. that's as much as I can write today.. 

Please feel free to leave a supportive comment.. I could use em.  I see folks come here, but I am talking to myself. That's okay.. as it is my journal.. but.... it would be nice to see someone acknowledge it. 

Over and out,

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Irv Rosenfeld - 30 Year FEDERAL Medical Cannabis Patient?

Welcome Friends and Readers!

Question: How can the Feds 
(or anyone else ) say cannabis has no medical value, when it's been keeping Irv Rosenfeld alive for 30 years, courtesy of our Govt??
If pictures are woth 1000 words, then maybe these three pics and Irv's story will enlighten you.

Marijuana Patient Gets 300 Joints Every 25 Days From The Government
April 17, 2014 By Blake

In November, Florida voters will take to the polls for the general election with the option to vote for or against a proposed constitutional amendment allowing for the medical usage of marijuana.

However, one Florida resident has already legally been a major benefactor of medical cannabis for over 30 years.

Irvin Rosenfeld at Silver Tour Vizcaya
Irvin Rosenfeld shares his stories with The Silver Tour, a non-profit organization created to educate the senior community of the United States about the medicinal value of cannabis.
Federal Marijuana Patient Lives In Florida

In 1982, Irvin Rosenfeld, a stockbroker from Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., convinced a panel of doctors in a hearing at the Food & Drug Administration office in Rockville, Md., that marijuana was the only possible treatment available for his medical conditions.

Rosenfeld spoke about his conditions and how he had worked with his doctor on a 10-year study prior to the hearing.

“I use (cannabis) to treat two conditions, one called multiple congenital cartilaginous exostosis, which causes tumors to grow on the ends of most long bones in my body, and pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism, which means that the tumors can develop at any age as my bones continue to grow,” Rosenfeld said.

On November 20, 1982, the FDA made Rosenfeld the second member of the Compassionate Investigational New Drug Program (Compassionate IND), a program established by the federal government after the landmark case of Randall v. U.S.  In that case Robert Randall, eventually the inaugural patient of the program, successfully argued the common law doctrine of necessity against charges of marijuana cultivation as a medical necessity.

Compassionate IND has been closed to new entrants, but has supplied as many as thirteen different patients with medical marijuana grown at the University of Mississippi.

Patient Gets 300 Joints of Marijuana Every 25 Days From The Government

Rosenfeld receives a tin of 300 joints of marijuana every 25 days for his treatment, and has become a public advocate for the legalization of medicinal marijuana treatment.  He said he would like to see the Florida amendment pass for multiple reasons, including education.

“Right now we’re not teaching future doctors about the medical benefits of marijuana in medical schools,” Rosenfeld said. “Once we’re able to get it as a curriculum in medical schools we’ll be able to learn about all the possible benefits and side effects.”

Benefits, Rosenfeld says, that include improving our endocannabinoid system, a group of lipids and their receptors in the brain that are involved in physiological processes such as appetite, mood changes, memory, and pain-sensation. Rosenfeld suggested that a lack of cannabis in foods and medicine has resulted in the prevalence of diseases such as Lupus and Chron’s.

“Just like the digestive system and our respiratory system, the endocannabinoid system produces important substances and some people aren’t producing enough,” Rosenfeld said. “We used to use cannabis in foods and medicine but the federal government took it out, leaving people cannabinoid deficient causing the body to attack itself.”

Medical Marijuana Allows A Normal Way Of Life

Because of his access to medical marijuana treatment, Rosenfeld says his life has completely changed for the better. He is able to volunteer for Shake-A-Leg Miami, a not-for-profit organization that works with children and adults with physical, developmental, and economic challenges.

“Without marijuana, if I was still alive, I’d be on disability and living off the government,” he said. “Instead I’m a productive member of society, working as a stock broker and a volunteer of 20 years for a program that helps disabled people by giving them the opportunity to go sailing.”

Although Rosenfeld is a major proponent of legalizing marijuana for medicinal purposes, he said he thinks Florida is a few years away from considering an amendment for the recreational use of cannabis.

“We’re still in an educational process with marijuana, which is why it is important to legalize it medically and start teaching it in medical school,” he said. “Three to four years down the road, once doctors have had a chance to study (marijuana) and its effects, then it might be possible.”

Remember Irvin’s Story

bookfrontcoverWhen asked if there were one thing he would like Florida voters to consider before heading to the polls this November, Rosenfeld said to think about his story.

“I’m living proof that medical marijuana works, and can help change someone’s life for the better,” he said.

You can read more about Irvin Rosenfeld and his journey to gaining access to medical marijuana in his book, available at
Irv is not lazy, nor is he a 'couch potatoepotato'.  All most cannabis patients want is the medicine our doctors tell us is a good medicine for our ailments. Like my VA and Vet Center doctors.   Why is politics between me and my best medicine?  Please read with an open mind and heart. I am only one of thousands of Texas veterans that want - and need medical cannabis.

Signing off from the Texas State Capitol grill,
over and out,

Friday, March 13, 2015

A Part of My PTSD Treatment Plan - Going To Austin to Lobby for Medical Cannabis

Greetings Friends and Readers, Legislators, Staff and Supporters,

I have been asked to go to Austin next week to be part of the Capitol Building Educational Exhibit - TRMP Coalition. I will be volunteering for the week there. It's a part of 'walking my talk'. If I want things to be changed, I have to be involved. I spend a good chunk of money getting 30 sets of my letter, PTSD and cannabis studies, plus copies of War Without End copied for the legislators I hope to meet and talk  with.  I am sometimes sick to my stomach at the thought that medical cannabis bill either won't be passed, or will be vetoed by Gov Abbot. That means two more years of being a criminal.  Two more years of suffering.  Why???  To what end???  I am having to fight for my medicine.  I also have a real problem calling and talking to the staff.. it triggers me back to the time I was being attacked in the service..and makes me feel like hiding in a hole. This.. is soo sooo hard to get out and do.  But I will do my best, for myself, my fellow veterans, for the children of Texas, especially Team Alexis. Brave little Alexis has had to move to Colorado to get the anti-seizure medicine that works best for her.(UPDATE 3/24/15 ITS NOW BEEN 22 DAYS) now that she is on a mix of CBD and THC oil, and while she was having seizures or trembles all the time before,SHE HAS NOT HAD ONE SEIZURE SINCE STARTING THE CANNABIS OIL!!!!  I'd say that bears repeating, SHE HAS NOT HAD ONE SEIZURE SINCE STARTING THE CANNABIS OIL!!!! 
How can that be a coincidence??? Her parents never expected it to work as well as it is.  The last big seizure left her with stroke like symptoms afterwards, so her parents made the heart breaking decision to relocate her, to SAVE HER LIFE.  Now, please realize, that this child can't come back to Texas until we change the law. The reason she can't come back to see her grandparents, family and friends is that CPS could take her away from her parents (who seem to have saved her life by taking her to CO) because she is a child with cannabis in her system.  Horror of horrors! 0.o  So as I have said many times, I do not fight just for myself, but now, especially that Alexis can't be here to fight for herself, I promise to fight till the last day of the session for her. And if we do not accomplish it this year, I will not stop. My reps will hear from me for the next two years, and until they step up and change the law.  

So, today was the last day for bills to be filed here in Texas.  Next round is two years from now.  Today,  whole plant medical bills were filed in both the House and the Senate.  This is very important to me, because I need whole plant to deal with my service connected PTSD and various pains, spasms, anxiety, insomnia and other malfunctions.  Cannabis by far is the least amount of dangerous chemicals. Far better then anything else I could take. I have talked at length about how the VA's meds turned me into a unfunctioning zombie.  I could not drive and had zero quality of life. In addition to that, I had to have my organs and heart checked for the psychiatric meds damage

Being a medical cannabis advocate is a part of my therapy at the Vet Center. And this past Mon, I had a general appt with my VA doc, Dr. P.  She asked how things were going, if I needed any more psychiatric meds.  I told her no, I am being 'illegally healed' by cannabis. She smiled and nodded.  TAKE NOTE LEGISLATORS OR STAFF THAT COME TO READ THIS:  My VA doc, says that YES, cannabis is the best medicine for my PTSD.  Off the record, but she wants to be able to say it on the record.  She is 100000% in favor of my going to Austin and working to change the law.  Bless her heart, she also helps keep me sane in that she sees the SCIENCE behind cannabis and KNOWS and AGREES that it will help me, and other veterans.  Listen up folks, SHE IS THE DOCTOR!!!  With all due respect, the vast majority of Legislators are NOT DOCTORS! Why, why are you torturing us with a refusal to see the benefits of cannabis???  You can NOT say you support veterans if you turn your back on the bills below... because you are turning your back on US- we who put our lives and minds on the line for America.  Here in Texas, 76% of folks feel medical cannabis should be legal. Please, don't say you are ignorant enough to believe that reefer madness bs. 

I got in a conversation with a Korean war vet at the car dealership waiting for my tires to get done today. All these years later, he still jumps at slamming doors and firecrackers.  He would be THRILLED to be able to use medical cannabis he said, and his wife would be glad for him too she said.  He's heard lots of good things about it, but he doesn't want to risk his home and family by using it.  What the heck???  Hasn't he more then earned the right to use a HERB to help himself?

Alcohol and chemical drugs are TOO dangerous! 

For folks that don't realize that cannabis has been a medicine in the past, here's this:

Below are the bills that have been filed for this legislative session.

2015 Legislative Session
Bills Filed 

We have reached the filing deadline! No more bills can be filed in the Texas Legislature for the 2015 Legislative Session.

Texas NORML has compiled a list of bills you need to know about for the 2015 Legislative Session. We advise you to set up an account on My TLO so that you can follow the bill’s progress or sign up for our Texas NORML ENewsletter so that you can get Action Alerts and Legislative Updates. We encourage you to prepare (find resourceshere and here) to contact your Texas Legislators and ask them to co-author, co-sponsor or support the following bills. Find out more here and here.

HB 2615 – Repeal Marijuana Prohibition – Authored by Representative David Simpson (R). This bill would repeal all marijuana offenses in Texas statutes. Read Representative Simpson’s release here.

HB 507 and SB 1417– Civil Penalties – Authored by Representative Joe Moody (D) and Senator Rodney Ellis (D). This bill would reduce possession of a once or less of marijuana to a $100 fine, removing the criminal penalty and making it a civil penalty.Review the highlights of the bill here.  View the current penalties here.

HB 3785 and SB 1839 – Texas Comprehensive Medical Marijuana – Authored byRepresentative Marisa Marquez (D) and Senator Jose Menendez (D). The bills establish a framework for dispensaries, growers, and manufacturers to provide seriously ill patients with the medicine they need.  The qualifying conditions are far broader than other bills, and would include:  cancer, glaucoma, HIV/AIDS, Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, Alzheimer's, PTSD, and conditions causing wasting, severe pain, severe nausea, seizures or sever muscle spasms. Registered patients (and their caregivers) would be free from fear of arrest and could legally possess up to 2.5 ounces of marijuana. They’d also be permitted to grow up to six plants in their home, three of which could be mature plants estimated to yield four ounces each per year. Read the highlights of the bills hereRead more here.

HB 837 – Affirmative Defense – Authored by Representative Elliot Naishtat (D). This would provide patients and caregivers a defense in court if caught possessing marijuana and would protect doctors from losing their licenses for discussing marijuana. Read more hereAnd here.

HB 414 – Decriminalize One Once or Less – Authored by Representative Harold Dutton (D). This bill would lower the penalty for possession of one ounce of marijuana from a Class B to a Class C Criminal Misdemeanor. Learn about Criminal Penalties in Texas hereView the current penalties here.

HB 892 & SD 339 - Limited CBD Only Bills - Authored by Representative Stephanie Klick (R) and Senator Kevin Eltife (R). These bills would allow for CBD only medicines to be used for people with intractable epilepsy in extreme cases. Review this information on CBD vs whole plant and Texas NORML’s opinion here.

HB 557 – Research Hemp – Authored by Representative Joe Farias (D). This bill would allow for the growth or cultivation of industrial hemp for certain research purposes.

HB 1322 Industrial Hemp - Authored by Representative Joe Farias (D). This bill would allow for the growth or cultivation of industrial hemp for industrial/agricultural purposes.

HB 325 – Decriminalize 0.325 oz or Less – Authored by Representative Gene Wu (D). This bill would lower the penalty for possession of 0.325 oz or less of marijuana from a Class B to a Class C Criminal Misdemeanor. Learn about Criminal Penalties in Texas hereView the current penalties here.

We encourage you to reach out to YOUR Texas State Representative and Texas State Senator and encourage them to Co-Sponsor these bills. Then please contact the Committee Members and request a hearing to be scheduled. Finally, please take a moment to thank each of the courageous legislators!

We also welcome you to come and visit the FIRST Cannabis Education Exhibit put on by Texas NORML and our Coalition, Texans for Responsible Marijuana Policy, at the Capitol Building from March 16th-20th. Learn more here. There will also be a Patient Lobby Day on March 25th and a Caregiver Lobby Day on March 26th. And see how ourCitizen Lobby Day on February 18th went here. And please keep our Lobby Campaigngoing by becoming a donor here!
Your Texas NORML Team

Well, that's it for this post.  I'll fill ya'll in when I get back from Austin,

Over and out,