Monday, May 12, 2014

An Article Will Be Coming Out

Greetings friends and readers,

So, on or about May 20th, the newest Texas Monthly magazine will be coming out.  I'll be posting it here after it does.  It will be stories of 4 different Texas veterans with PTSD who prefer to use cannabis as their medication.  This IS a NATIONAL issue for sure now.  Being interviewed for this article has been both triggering and yet rewarding.  I feel like I am speaking not just for myself, but also for other vets I know who would prefer to be able to use it too!  This blog address will be included someplace, and so if you came here from that link - Welcome!

The kind, kind professor writing the article is a husband, father and son.  He is appalled at the existence of MST and how bad it is.  He sent me a very nice email, explaining how hard he had fought to get more of my story included, but that it was over ridden by the editors for differing reasons.  Thank goodness I had MST group today to talk to my therapist and other Ladies in the group about it.  The story of my rape by the Iranian and my supervisor on my first base is included.... but the rapes on my second base, also by my supervisor, in fact there it was TWO FUCKING SICKOS...who took turns keeping me degraded and terrified.  But.. in the opinions of the editors (not the dear writer who fought to keep it in) it was just TOO much and might make my story seem unbelievable to some. Welll..its NOT unbelievable to the VA who gave me my disability based on the TRUTHS OF IT.    Mad??? No.. frustrated and furious is more like it.  Sigh... do I understand their point, yes, I do. And as I wrote back to the author last nite, and I did mean it... as Jack Nicholson shouted "You can't handle the truth!".  In this case, they don't WANT to.  Now.. I am very grateful that any of the story of MST is getting out, hand in hand with the wondrous benefits of cannabis to help PTSD and so many other things. 

 (And off topic for a moment - WTF Colorado???? Refusing to include PTSD for the fourth time for medical cannabis there???  How can the thousands upon thousands of soldiers and sailors from at least WW2 that I am aware of be wrong in all their repeatable experiences of the first hand benefits of cannabis to help with PTSD??? Sigh.. really???)   

So while I do understand the editors point of view...but for me, and my brethren- its triggering..and its insulting and infuriating.  When I read what the editors said to my MST group, there was a feeling of collective shock. Even our therapist was on the verge of tears.  We sat there...and then.. vented.  And was angry that our reality is so ugly... it can't be honestly reported for fear of upsetting folks.  Now, for me... as I have to repeat to myself... I understand.  This is a medical cannabis story, not a MST story. I am only one of four stories, and my story is no more important their theirs, other then mine reveal a secret that most folks are still unaware of.

 But .. to me.. cutting the 2nd part of my story out, diminishes the importance of how MUCH medical cannabis can help me.  Because my trauma is soooo sooo much more then just the incidents on the 'one base'.  I was at the 2nd base as long.. and the abuse actually went on longer because both of my predators were still there doing it to other ladies when I left.  And I was there a full two years.  Two years... of ... even worse horrors.  As bad as C was on the first base, he wasn't cruel and vicious like L was on my second.  C got off on getting a blow job mostly.  L was big on torture, pain and vicious humiliation.  And when P joined L on the base after I'd been there a few months, then it was DOUBLE the daily terrors.  But... that was all too much for the editors.  <sigh>   The prescriptions from the VA turn me into a zombie...and I have such a hard time functioning, and I resent how awful they can make me feel compared to the safer cannabis.  I never worried about the side effects of cannabis after knowing my grandmother and uncle had used it for so long and were so together in all ways.  <another sigh> 

Dear God.. please.. please let the politicians in my fine state of TX come to their senses and let compassion for their veterans over ride their unscientific fears.  Its not that things will change, many veterans are still using cannabis anyway.. but they fought for all freedoms, and they, we, deserve this best medicine You made this herb for all! Please, let them be free to come out of the shadows, let them get good, safe, clean -LEGAL medicine and find a healing from their nation and its grateful people - and its politicians!  Amen

Well... that's it for right now. 
 I bid everyone well.

Over and out,

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