Thursday, August 9, 2012

Back in Action...

Greetings Readers...

After a vacation break enforced by a stream of visitors, the house is now quiet again.  And there was some big news while I was away... but first, a huge huge congrats to my friends over at Enemy in the Wire.. they have gotten to share their story with the Cedar Rapids Gazette. It takes real character and courage to step up and tell the things that have happened!!!

As for myself, two weeks ago, K went out for the mail and came back with what looked like... a .. check???? It said for VA Comp and disability!  Already???  It was only about 3 weeks after my psychological testing at the Houston VA!  No letter, just a check that K quickly figured out was about 6 months of backpay!  So I sent a text to Joan asking if that was normal, to get a check before formal notification of some sort.  Bless her dearest heart when she texted right back that yes, that's how it rolls, and congrats.  I sat and cried for a bit.  I was really, really in shock!  It meant... so many things to me.  Especially that now.. although this won't make up for the 35ought years of hell, after the 4, but it does give me an income again, of which I've been without since I had my breakdown and almost abandoned my disabled client in Jan, after he began roaring, barking and poking at me..effectively ending my working career.

So on Mon after the check came,  I had MST group at the Vet Center... after that, I drove down to the Houston VA admin center and waited to talk with someone to see what I could find out.   They had my name wrong on the check, what it was when I got out, but good 'ol USAA Bank just told me to sign both names on it and it would be good.  But I wanted to get that fixed, and get direct deposit started too.   After a couple hours I got to talk to someone.  Turns out I am yup, 70% nuts. Think I'll be a macadamia nut as they come from Hawaii and I like it there a lot. *grins*  Although Dr. Oz says that cashews are healthier.  In two days it will be 2 weeks since I got the check, and still no 'official' letter from them yet.  Still, I'd much rather it went the way it did,, that I got the $$ first and am now waiting on the letter, then have the letter and be waiting on the $$!

I finally got to see a VA doc up at Conroe.  The VA is soooo slow it took 5 months.  She is a nice lady named Dr. Yee. And she says that she thinks due to the physical trauma I am still suffering from (busted left jaw, loss of teeth on left side, loss of hearing in my left ear, crushed trachea and being beaten so i couldn't have kids) are things that they still need to recompense me for. The disability award now is just for the PTSD. So she is sending me to some specialists to get it in writing so I can submit that to increase the amount of disability I am getting. I thought what I was getting was good, but she felt very strongly that it isn't. She and my counselors have also told me to file for SS disability as well, especially since the 70% isn't near enough to live on.  She also got me an apt for glasses and to see the psychiatrist.  So while it's taken a while, I feel much better that I an now in the system and got some good apt to get things worked on.  

On Mon, I got to meet our new Vet Center counselor. I'd been very anxious about it as my friend Ani had a TERRIBLE doc at her Vet Center in her state. I've been blessed to have two wonderful ones so far. But the new doc seems nice enough so far. All the 'Ladies of the Group' were and to some degree still are withholding judgment to see how she does running the group as our current counselor was still there too. In our group, or in our lives... getting someone new to have to re-explain the horrors we survived is never easy. We HATE having to start over and tell new people about it all over yet again. She seems nice enough..  I'm still not really looking forward to that first time I have to sit down with her alone and start over again. 

Because my doc was leaving, she didn't have a chance to really push for the Invisible War, and with my company around, I didn't have much time to work on pushing it.  But now that they are all gone, I will have free time again, and I expect to become a pain in their ass until they get it here and showing as well

Well, that's the update for now.  Many thanks again to Joan and Brigid for their inspiration and courage!

Over and out, 


  1. Congratulations! This seems like a significant step in the right direction, and ought to be a source of relief for at least some part of the struggle.

    Gentle hugs,

  2. Dearest Swan...
    Thank you as always for your soft and comforting words! It is a huge step and it is more relief then I've had in.. well. years.
    Hugs to yours and best wishes for your families PTSD healing and other of life's challenges.

    More Hugs,

  3. Hey, Myst!

    It looks like I finally got back in!

    I am so happy to hear that you received 70%! It is a very hard thing to get done - and I know that - but you made it all the way through!

    Hang in there and know that you are always in my prayers!