The MST Questionairre

I mentioned last post that I was hosting psychology students this past weekend. (Waves, hi guys to those that stop back by!) 

Here is a bit more about them, and then the questionnaire that I promised to do and post here.

I had gotten this lovely note that said in part that they were graduate students in the Clinical Psychology doctoral program at the University of Houston. For one of their courses they had been asked to gain a better understanding of a specific group of individuals. This will help them in the future if they happen to conduct therapy with those individuals. This group wanted to try and understand more about the experiences of survivors of MST. There were 3 of them and they brought some yummy chocolate chip cookies for us. Yes.. chocolate helps with my PTSD, yanno, pleasurable feelings. Mmmmm!

Anyways.. here is the questions and answers:

 First, we truly appreciate your help. Through your openness and honesty about such a sensitive topic, you are helping to train future clinicians to be more aware of this issue. We understand that these questions may be difficult to answer. Please answer only the questions that you are comfortable answering. All of your responses will be kept anonymous and used for educational purposes only.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

·         What are your opinions of the military's image as a "boys club?” That is exactly what it was, a boys club. And they all supported each other in whatever they were doing.  There were two types I found in the Navy, those that wanted to hurt and humiliate, and those that wanted to kick their asses. There were some wonderful men that I served with.  Men that would have lost their careers if they had known what was happening to me because they would  have wanted to retaliate.  It was MY choice to keep it to myself and just try to survive. 

·         Is there a female sub-culture within the military (a sense of community)? There was to some degree, but some of the women willingly participated in actives, other’s of us tried to resist.  I only told one person about the first attack, and it was only because she was gay and had a lot to lose if she told my secret.  But that bond became very strong, and all these decades later, we are still dear friend who can tell each other anything.  I don’t remember much camaraderie with other ladies when I was in much though.

·         Were there any particular concerns you had about being a woman in the military?  Not when I enlisted at 17.  My step dad was a Navy veteran, and I knew several of my male friends had gone into the different branches before I.  I never gave it a thought.  I expected to be just ‘one of the sailors’ and that was it.  My recruiter lied to me when he told me I was going to Journalism school.  I had no idea you had to get it in ‘writing’ for it to be true.  The first betrayal.

·         How does being a woman in the military fit into your view of femininity?  Well, when I enlisted I had long hair, and I chose to keep it that way through out my enlistment.  It gave me that feeling of being someone else after duty and allowed me to change persona after working hours.  In uniform, it was always up in a twist. I think I learned to be more male like to try and change what was happening to me, but it didn’t work.  I tried to be a sailor on duty, and a lady off.

·         How did your family respond to your decision to enlist?   They were very supportive and happy about it.  My step dad was in the Navy, and I had 30 days after high school graduation to “get out” he said, and at the time, I thought it would be safe, as it was peacetime. Uhhh.. about that?  Not so peaceful for the ladies..

Growing up, what gender roles did your family adhere to?   My mother was Lockheed’s first woman engineer, and she taught me to be very strong and not to rely on anyone else.  So I guess you could say, I didn’t have the typical late 50’s role model at all.  Both of my parents were engineers for Lockheed, and so was my step dad.  I hoped to have a career in the Navy and see the world. Pffffttt.

o         

·         Were your expectations of your service prior to your sexual assault in line with the reality of serving in the military? I expected to go to journalism school, and then have a great job and career travelling the world. I hoped to be based with my fiancée’ and us serve together.  But the reality was, I was lied to by my recruiter, and then I was attacked and raped, and told I didn’t deserve to be in the Navy because I was a woman.  I did not expect the gender bashing.  I thought it was a PROFESSIONAL organization.  Instead, it was semi-professional, and was well run in some ways, but by a bunch of thugs at other times.

. 

·         How does experiencing MST impact your opinion of your service? It tainted it and made it very ugly.  Not all of it, I have some wonderful memories.. and as I’ve said over and over, I’d still do it all again! And I met some great guys too.  Not all of them were butt heads. 

·         Do you have any regrets about your decision to enlist? No… only that I wish I’d known I had to get my school in writing, that I couldn’t trust a recruiter to be HONEST with me!!!!! And I wish the military would teach women a really good self defense class in boot camp. I think that would go a long ways to helping boost self confidence.

        

·         Please describe any emotional, physical, or mental difficulties you experienced after your trauma?  Hmmm, more like “where to start?”  Emotional.. much of the time I am a wreck. I have good and bad days.  It’s not good to just start crying in public.  There are many subjects I still can’t discuss without losing it all together.  Physical;.. well.. not being able to have kids is pretty big to me.  Having a knife scar on my breast is a reminder of what happened.  I have some bowel problems sometimes….I get a stomach pains and cramps.. I get the shakes, I get bad headaches sometimes.. my jaw where I was punched aches sometimes, and I’ve lost most of the teeth on the side to, the dentist says I have very severe TMJ because of the assault.   I have nightmares sometimes that wake me up.   I have panic attacks and have to run in the bathroom to calm down.  Most of these are a mix of the mental, physical and emotional all affecting me.  I am trying to learn to cope better.

·         How has surviving MST impacted your current/future relationships?   I believe, in looking back, that I made some serious mistakes in the sorts of relationships I had, based on what had happened to me, and what sort of sick relationship felt ‘right’ as opposed to being right.  My last marriage broke up within days of my breakdown, as I just couldn’t be around him anymore, and he couldn’t’ handle the drama of what had happened to me.  So I also lost my home.  And my work.   I am blessed to have a dear friend that has offered me a home for as long as I want. I just have to work on getting well.

·         Who did you first tell about the abuse? The first one I told anything too was Manya, on my second base.   She came home to find me rocking and crying and I only told her bits and pieces about it then.  After that, I didn’t tell many people.  
 

·         Would you mind briefly describing how the conversation went?   It’s been very difficult each time I have tried to talk about it.  But, it is getting easier and I am learning to incorporate that part of me into who I am in a more public manner, then the secrecy I’ve had all these years.

·         How did you feel after disclosing your abuse?  Much better! And I find I do feel better after talking about it. I guess it’s a sort of ‘desensitization’ that works to help make it easier. It’s still not easy, but it’s easier.

·         Is there a typical profile of abuser? Men who are into power.  For whatever reason, who knows what drives them.  But it was certainly more about power then sex.

·         Are certain individuals (age, ethnicity, sex, etc.) more likely to perpetrate abuse than others?  Not that I noticed.  Although in my case, all four men were older and higher ranking. 

·         Are certain individuals (age, ethnicity, sex, etc.) more likely to be victimized by abuse than others?  It was mentioned by a couple of my attackers, that they went after younger women, and those that had just been transferred to the base so that there didn’t know their way around and didn’t have any friends yet.  After my first attack, I let myself become a continual victim I think. I was so afraid and hurt, that I found it easier to just comply.

·         How does MST affect your ability to serve alongside the abuser? Well, it’s like hell.  They are always there, smirking at you, making motions, letting you know that they are going to get you again and again.  Well, at least in my  case it was that way.  Sick to my stomach a lot, and rage, I really had dreams of doing terrible things to get back at them.

·         Why is it that often victims of MST will not disclose being abused unless overtly asked about it? Because there is so much danger involved. And embarrassment.. even if you ask most would deny it.  I was threatened with not just my bodily harm, but those that I loved would get set up if I did not co-operate.  That was also a reason I didn’t tell some folks who would have been strong defenders.  I didn’t want them to get angry and perhaps do something and then they would be in jail and lose their careers.  There are so many reasons!!!

·         Is there information to suggest that experiencing sexual trauma in the military is different than those who experience it in the civilian community? Well, from my perspective, yes.  Because you become military property and you have to follow their rules.  You can’t just not report for work. You can’t run away.  You can’t go to just ‘any‘ medical facility.  In a civilian job, if a boss raped you, there would be all SORTs of avenues.  But in the military, there are none but to do what they tell you, as they tell you and to shut up and take it like a man.

·         Is there differential treatment/stereotypes for those who experience MST within the military? I don’t know for sure about this, I only know what I experienced.  It seems to be pretty much the same.  Person gets attacked at some point, sometimes black mailed or just bullied and controlled into it.  I knew others but I didn’t talk to them about it, or my experiences at all. 

·         How is MST viewed within the military?   As a whiner and a baby and NOT a team player. Everyone would know and it was most always the woman’s fault for whatever justified reason.  Most folks didn’t talk about it much, except for the gays who were open game back then.  My friend Manya was attacked, raped and harassed the whole time.  It was considered their ‘penalty’ for going in the military in the first place. But they loved their country just as much as we did, even more to go in knowing you’d face that.

·         In your opinion, has the military addressed the problem of MST adequately?  Please excuse me while I snort.  Noooo.. not remotely.  I firmly believe that it will take a roots up change in the military.  A real zero tolerance. Move the perpetrator, not the VICTIM for God’s sake!!!!!  I think the STOP act would go a long way towards taking these decisions out of the Commanders hands.  I mean, the guy doing the raping may be the guy who saved his life and he can’t, no one could turn that friend in if they didn’t have to.  There is too much conflict of interest in this to let it stay as it is!

·         Are there any reasons you would be hesitant to seek treatment?  If I was in the service, yes,  Because if it came out, the way it’s handled now, would be a stain and a disgrace.  If civilian now, no. I would get to a Vet Center as fast as I could, and a VA mental health clinic too. 

·          Would you be more open to seeking civilian or military treatment? I can’t help but prefer a veteran, at least a woman, because there is a feeling of being trapped to me that I felt while I was in the service that I just don’t think a civilian can fully understand. But, I would take a female over any male. And my current doc is a civilian, and she’s taught me some wonderful things.  So in the end, whoever God sends me (as long as they are kind and compassionate) then I’ll try to learn whatever they have to teach me.

·         Are you currently in treatment?   Yes, I go to a local Vet Center and have both individual and group therapy.   It has been remarkably rewarding to finally be in a group with other ladies who had some of the same experiences. .  

·         If so, how did you make the decision to enter treatment? I had a breakdown in Dec 2011 when I went to a VA to get some mental help for PTSD. I started out doing it for a friend, but then was caught up by how bad I had it too.   I didn’t realize I had as many symptoms as I did until I started treatment and now knew what the source of so many of my life’s problems has been.  I couldn’t work anymore as I worked with a disabled man, and it was just too much for me to handle anymore.  I had to quit after I almost abandoned him when he poked me, roared and barked at me.  He had figured out he could scare me.  

 ·         What are some barriers that might dissuade/prevent MST victims from seeking support or help while enlisted?  Well, the ridicule and being thrown out of the military is a good start.  Having your life destroyed before everyone else’s eyes. Yeah.. something like that.

·         What are some resources for MST victims? What are the most commonly utilized resources?  These are the one’s I am using so far, and I’ll keep adding to the list as I find, or other’s refer to me.

• Enemy In The Wire - Blog
• A Males Life After Rape - Blog
• Vet Wow - Help Filing MST Claims
• Mandalas Coloring Book - Support
• Vet Center Home - Support/Resource
• MyDuty.MIL - Resource
• The Invisible War - The Movie
• Protect Our Defenders -Support/ Resource
• My Duty To Speak - Support/Resource
• Military Rape Crisis Center -Support/ Resource

·         What advice would you give to others who have experienced trauma in the military as a result of being female?  Come forward.  Only when our voices come out of the shadows and unite can we clear the way for a cleansing and the generations to come.  It’s hard, it hurts.. and yes, it’s embarrassing.  But, to quote a friend, “It is, what it is.” And no one has to like it. WE didn’t like it!  If you can’t come forward, do your best to get help, to tell at least one other person you can confide in.  Getting it out helps.  And talking. Speaking out, even if it’s just leaving a comment on facebook in support of the cause.  It all helps. And it helps other’s too!

·         Is there anything you know now that you wish you knew before enlisting?  That the military is NOT a safe place, even with the brother’s in arms.  Especially with the brother’s in arms.  That until the culture changes, the danger is INSIDE the wire, not out.  To take a good self defense class.  To have friends to talk to.  To tell at least one other person and try to collect some sort of evidence for a later time.  To get everything in writing before going in. 

PTSD - The Invisible Wounds

I recently had a conversation with a fellow veteran on a web site.  There was a discussion about whether PTSD wounded veterans should be eligible to get the purple heart. We all pretty much said no, but perhaps we needed our own special ribbon, like a dented coconut or something.   Here was my public response:

I have service connected PTSD, and I would like a dented coconut please.  But not any purple heart. I agree that's for the brother's and sisters who lost so much more then their sanity! But there is a point to be made about the 'invisible' wounds, Those that make me duck into doorways to hide, run into the bathroom during a panic attack and try not to hyperventilate while chanting my therapist's mantra to myself "this is now, I am safe, this is now, I am safe'. I try to see the now, and not the superimposed horrors of the past.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

A nice vet wrote me privately:

First off, please allow me to thank You for Your service and welcome home.
That being said, I just wanted to tell You how much I liked what you had to say on that whole purple heart thread. And may I add, said so eloquently.
Too many times, those of us suffering the "unseen" injuries are overlooked or dismissed. Thank the Goddess that the VA isn't quite so blind.
I hope this note finds you and yours in good health and spirits.

And here was my response back to him, which I later thought 'hmmmm.. that would make a good post too!'.. so here it is:


Thank you from the depths of my heart for your kind words. I never know how something might be taken here, especially when dealing with the Brethren. We're and odd lot and we have some bizarre triggers for all sorts of things. So when someone takes the time to write, I really do appreciate it.
 

For myself, and many of my vet friends, from all era's, we deal with the unseen wounds. At my first Vet Center orientation, there was an 85 year old ww2 vet still diving under tables when things go boom, or certain planes go over. His Korea era vet son had brought him. Across from me was a fresh Afgan vet, whose trigger was 'the smell of hot metal'. The 3 Vietnam vets, the sound of choppers, smell of wet grass and a certain 'click' sound were a common one to send them diving for cover. We have a new combat vet in our MST group who is having a terrible time with trash on the road, and is trying to figure out how to handle Disney World with her kids, when all she really wants to go home and avoid crowds. Her husband expects that now that she is home, she is just supposed to 'get over it'. Yeah. About that... doesn't quite work that way chump.

We 'look' just fine to other folks, but at least for me, the inside of my head looks like Dali on acid sometimes I think. The hyper vigilance gets pretty old. The insomnia, watching the dark hours tick by if I am trying to sleep, before I give up and read or go online. And the flashback thing? No so fun. When it feels like an elephant is on your chest and you can't breath, but Lordy, you can't make a scene either.

Anyways.. talking always helps. and my head doc says its time to move from victim, to survivor, to advocate. I was in during 'peacetime' but it was anything but peaceful. They have no 'ribbon' for the service I was forced to give. I was part of the 'Invisible War'. So I have a sort of 'double invisibility'. My War was invisible, and most of my wounds are too. One can't 'see' infertility, or cuts covered by a uniform. One can't see the crazy head that can't be alone in a room with a strange man like most 'normal' folks can.

Thanks for understanding...

This whole 'Invisible War' term I have found so very helpful.  Just like Joan's 'Inside the wire' term.... these terms are helping me a lot to try and describe what's been buried so deep for so many years.  As their blog helped me, I hope in some way, this will help others too!

Today, I have a group of psychology students coming to interview me about how to help MST survivor's.  I asked for the questions to send out to my Sister Warriors so that if they wish to participate they can.  The list of questions is very long and quite through.  It won't be easy to answer, but I am glad I have this opportunity to help them understand us better.  As I think of all those out there now, still getting injured, and someday, one of these young students may be who they turn to for help, so I want to do all I can to assist.

I think I will work on the questionnaire and then, post it and my answer's here.  

Myst, 

Over and out

A Special & Inspirational Song From Smash -STAND

 Greetings all,

I've had this song running through my brain for a few days now, and decided to make a short post about it.

I have this soundtrack and was listening to it on the way to MST group last week, and the strength of what this song is about really hit home and got me pretty teary eyed, but also gave me a new understanding about what to do when you've done all you can...

We survivors... we are trying so hard to have a life after what was done to us. And we've lost friends, family, careers, self esteem.. and to some degree, ourselves, who we once were.  But I do believe the Lord has a plan for us.. this pain, was not for naught.   So many times we have given our all, just to be slapped back down again. 
But.. there is more to this all then meets the eye I think.  It's like a spiritual fire... how do we deal with people in the aftermath of our betrayals?  We have gone through so much.. and sometimes.. its feels like we've only gone backwards.  Well.. this song.. gives me renewed hope and faith, and reminds me.. that we've fought, cried, screamed and felt suicidal, what's left.. feels so empty and painful sometimes.  but.. there is more that we can't see, and for each step we take, we make a path for those to follow.  And so I hope, that this song may offer my Brethren some hope... after the storms that ravage us, and we've done all we can.. then.. we can let go to some degree, and just.. .stand.. 

Here are the lyrics:

 "Stand"

What do you do
when you've done all you can
and it seems like you can't make it through?
And what do you say
when your friends turn away,
and you're all alone?
Tell me, what do you give
when you've given your all,
and it seems like you can't make it through?

Well you just stand
when there's nothing left to do
You just stand
Watch the lord see you through
Yes after you've done all you can,
You just stand

Tell me what do you do
when you've given your all
And it seems, it seems like
You can't make it through?

Well, you just stand,
when there's nothing left to do
You just stand
Watch the Lord see you through
Yes, after you've done all you can
You just stand.

Stand and be sure
Be not entangled in that bondage again
You just stand and endure.
God has a purpose.
God has a plan.

Tell me what do you do
when you've done all you can
and it seems like you can't make it through?
Child you just stand
Through the storm (stand),
Stand through the rain (stand)
Through the hurt (stand), oh,
Stand through the pain (you just)

I’ll hold on (stand)
I’ll be strong (stand)
God will step in (stand),
And it won't be long (you just)

After you done all you can you just stand 

And the video itself..

STAND

So, now.. when I am feeling overwelmed I try to hum a few bars, and just... stand...

Myst.. standing by,

Over and Out

Got My Invisible War tags!

Today the Invisible War opens in select locations.  I had seen on Facebook where several of the MST survivors in area's where the movie isn't opening had been invited to send their names and address's and the public relations lady would send out a few tags to them.  So I wrote and asked, and bless her heart, a thousand thanks to Caitlin for sending me a handful of tags.  I have myne on, and plan to send one to each of my dear friends Dev and Manya and the rest will go to the ladies of the group. But they had to promise to get a pic of themselves taken with the tags so I can send them to Caitlin.  

In case you missed it, here is the link to the movie web page and the trailer. Although, there are several other trailers on youtube too.


http://invisiblewarmovie.com

 Am asking anyone I know in those locations to go see the movie.  I have a dear friend in LA who has promised to go see it for me, and that means a lot!  

And this is another good one with some more background info:

Myst - Not invisible anymore,
Over and out

Make The Connection - A new link

I came across the Make The Connection - Shared Experiences and Support for Veterans link on another web site and checked it out.  Seems to have some good resources.  It does help to hear stories from others who have been through it.

Here is a link to the videos about  MST .  And Here is more info on their site about it.
 
I'm adding it to the blogroll too.  

Over and out, 

Myst

These are the Attitudes that Poison the Fleet (See comments below)

 This was the article.. a very good one I thought.. and God Bless Jackie Speier..  What got me, was the comments after the article that shows EXACTLY why this problem still exists.

My own comments to follow...

U.S. rep calls for Lackland hearings

By Sig Christenson

Updated 11:44 p.m., Sunday, June 17, 2012

Read more: http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/military/article/U-S-rep-calls-for-Lackland-hearings-3640878.php#ixzz1yGAHJwVy

A San Francisco Bay Area congresswoman was expected to send a letter today to the House Armed Services Committee, asking for hearings on a growing sex scandal involving Air Force instructors and trainees in San Antonio.
Rep. Jackie Speier, D-Calif., cited instances of instructor misconduct at Joint Base San Antonio-Lackland that have triggered charges against four staff sergeants on the installation, home of Air Force basic training.
“What is happening at Lackland is systemic and warrants this committee's immediate attention,” a draft of the letter states. “In light of the alarming trend of sexual assault cases documented in the military as a whole, it is imperative that Congress hold the military accountable and truly implement a zero-tolerance policy in response to this problem.”
The Air Force has said more instructors are being investigated and revealed in a federal Freedom of Information Act request that 35 Lackland trainers have been yanked from their jobs for various reasons in the past 11 months. The number of those removed because of sexual conduct allegations isn't known; Air Force lawyers only have said it is fewer than half.
One former Lackland basic training instructor, Airman Peter Vega-Maldonado, told a recent evidentiary hearing that as a staff sergeant he had illicit contact with 10 women — not just one, as he pleaded guilty to in a deal that spared him from a bad-conduct discharge. The Air Force hasn't said what Maldonado did with the trainees or if they were in the all-female unit he led until commanders reassigned him three weeks into its training cycle.
“Vega will be forced to leave the Air Force but without a bad-conduct discharge,” Speier, a Democrat on the Armed Services Committee, said on the House floor. “Imagine that. Without a bad-conduct discharge.
“If the military is as vigilant as they say they are, how could such a repetitive, widespread and sickening behavior still be occurring?” she asked. “What is being uncovered at Lackland flies in the face of what we are being told by our military.”
The Air Force is saying little about the case, but Lackland spokeswoman Collen McGee conceded that “there is a problem” at the base and called it “a horrible situation,” one that commanders were trying to correct. Few details of what the Air Force was doing have been made public since Vega stunned a Lackland courtroom while testifying against a fellow instructor he claimed to befriend.
So far, the Air Force has charged Staff Sgts. Luis A. Walker, Kwinton Estacio and Craig LeBlanc with sexual misconduct with women in basic and technical training. LeBlanc is accused of being involved with two women, while Estacio is charged with seeing one. Walker faces a July 16 trial on charges of illicit contact with 10 women, including intercourse with four of them and raping one. He faces life in prison if convicted.
Other military training instructors, called MTIs, also are under investigation, though no one is saying how many. In the meantime, Gen. Edward Rice Jr., head of the Air Education and Training Command, told the San Antonio Express-News he has ordered a review of basic training.
But Speier, a vocal critic of the military's handling of sexual assault cases and Pentagon efforts to prosecute offenders, said the incidents at Lackland underscore the military's inability to deal with the problem.
Pointing to MTI assertions that they were involved in consensual relationships, she echoed sexual assault victims who say the military legal system often fails.
“It comes down to the words of the accused and the accuser: the instructor against the trainee,” Speier said in her floor speech. “In the military, this usually means the perpetrator gets off or receives a disproportionately small punishment, and the victim endures an arduous and humiliating legal process with no sense of justice at the end.”
Speier's Sexual Assault Training Oversight and Prevention Act, which she introduced in November, would take the reporting, investigation and victim care of sexual assaults away from the chain of command. An independent office consisting of civilian and military experts would hear those cases instead, with a director deciding when to prosecute.
The bill is called the STOP Act.
“The age-old problem in the military is that nine out of 10 women (Airman) Vega has now admitted to committing sexual misconduct with have not come forward because they know that the odds of getting justice is slight, and the odds of their careers being finished is great,” Speier said.
“What's happening at Lackland Air Force Base should and needs to be a wake-up call.”

---------------------------

and now come the comments, and myne, which I warn you will be a more then a bit snarky.  Cuz this is my blog and I get to be snarky here when I wanna be. Since I can't say what I want to these folks in the comment sections there, I'm putting it here!!!

------

 We can only hope the Congresswoman's STOP act dies in committee. While her bravery at the Jonestown atrocity is to be applauded, she has never served in the military and seems not understand the importance of the chain of command to good order and discipline in the services. Taking command authority away from the chain of command, as she proposes in the STOP Act, is a very bad idea.

 -Right butt head.  One doesn't have to serve in the military to know what's being done to our service people, men and women, is WRONG on soooo many levels.  They can't stop it themselves!  It HAS to be taken away.  The chain of command in this instance, isn't working.. When it IS the Commander doing it, who do you turn to???  There is no discipline in the service when it comes to MST! The STOP act may be the only thing to save them. What if it was YOUR daughter or sister this was happening to.. or worse, to YOU since one in 7 men has been raped in the military? -

Read more: http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/military/article/U-S-rep-calls-for-Lackland-hearings-3640878.php#ixzz1yG94FTjr

The Air Force seems to be dealing with this appropriately. Investigations and courts-martial are in progress. If I recall correctly, decisions about how to proceed in sexual misconduct cases have been reserved to the Colonel (O-6) level and above. People are going to go to jail over this; as noted in the article, Walker could get life if convicted. The only reason Vega is getting off so lightly is that he struck his plea deal before he admitted to the vast majority of his misconduct; he could still be prosecuted for those other acts if other evidence (independent of his admission) is developed.

-How many never make it past reporting to get a 'well, your in the service now, men simply can't behave here because you are here so you should expect it.'  For every 1 that goes to jail, about 1000 don't.  Out of  the thousands of  reports filed last year, only 200 were convicted.  Anyone who does this and still gets out without a dishonorable and some sorta code that informs folks of WHY he was tossed out is getting off easy and unfairly I think.
Read more: http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/military/article/U-S-rep-calls-for-Lackland-hearings-3640878.php#ixzz1yG8nzk7B

Oh, man...just think about a world without politicians. Now THAT would be a REAL utopia.

 -Another sensitive and heartfelt comment about the victims?  Oh... no,wait... there isn't any word there about it.. just a snarky political comment.

Sexual misconduct complaint from a politican representing San Francisco California? This has to be taken from the funny pages...right?

 -Now THAT's a useful comment.What does one thing have to do with the other???  They totally ignore anything about the article and what happened, and can only focus that she's from San Francisco.  Geesh!

Oh shut up you old bag! Let the Air Force handle their business! What we don't need is another munti-million dollar study that will state everything the AF's IG will state after their investigation. Just another waste of taxpayer money!

- Best one for last?  We've all seen how well the military does on it's own handling this.  Not one comment here has any heart to it, not a word of caring about the victims here.  Just politics and disdain about the situation.  And this, this is why this problem STILL exists I think.  What will it take for us to become decent humans to each other????

Sighs sadly.  See, see what we have to contend with???  The mind set that is out there right now?   

Myst, pointing out why things keep happening like they are, and why they have to change...

Over and out

You Made Me Cry - A Poem

Today in group, one of the Ladies had written a poem for Dr. J about her leaving. It really hit home to how I felt also. and the room was pretty sniffely afterwards.  I asked C if I could post her poem here, and she said yes. So.. here it is:

YOU MADE ME CRY

SHOCK, DISBELIEF,

YOU SAY YOU ARE LEAVING ME?

NO, NOT MY GENTLE, KIND, SAVIOR

YOU WHO BELIEVED IN ME, LISTENED AND ENCOURAGED ME

YOU MADE ME CRY

TIME TO MOVE ON, LET GO OF THE CORD

EMBRACE THE NEW

AM I READY? I MUST BE

BUT I'LL ALWAYS THINK OF YOU

YOU TOUCHED MY HEART AND COMFORTED ME

GO, FLY AWAY TO NEWBIRTH

I'LL BE RIGHT HERE THINKING

YOU MADE ME CRY

C.W.

Sunday, June 17, 20012