Friday, June 8, 2012

My Turn to Rage...

So.. today I'm on a Veteran's forum and someone has asked the question about DD214's and how much they have changed over the years.  This lovely comment was added:
I have examples of DD214s from '70s, '80s, 90s, and this century. Yes, they have gone through changes. Literally, as in the form itself has changed a lot. Figuratively, as in more entries are being made/crammed into the available space.
Mine from 1992 contains every major assignment, all my awards/ribbons and why, rank up/pay grade, and the usual personal data. Young friend of mine served half the years and discharged in 2011, has few awards, yet looks like any time she so much as visited another base for whoopee it was listed as a major assignment (surprised her menstrual cycle is not listed).

To which I could not help but respond:
If your young friend had been a male, what would you have said instead as an example?
BTW, I bolded that last line.... I just couldn't help but reply.  It pissed me off.. and I'm on again off again about how pissed I am in general these days anyways.  I am supposed to be facing my 35 year old secret and 'dealing with it'.  I don't want to start a flaming war.. but dang, everything he said was useful up to that point. Did he REALLY have to make that snarky remark???  And the fact that he referenced her going to any other base to 'make whoopee'. Okay.. that part rather pissed me off too.  Really? She ONLY went to other bases to 'make whoopee'?  I sure as hell don't remember the Navy putting it in writing in my personal files anytime I went to do that!!!  I think maybe my radar for that stuff is set for hyper vigilance. I am having a chat with one of the lady vets on that site, asking her opinion as to if I have over reacted or not.  Her response was "yes and no"  Yes, in that (to paraphrase) I have to choose my battles. I can't pick a fight with every asshole out there.  
She is very right. She also pointed out that in time, I can walk by these sorts of remarks without being triggered, and to choose my battles on a case by case basis.  All very true and helpful.  I can't delete my remark, and she says that I showed good progress by having sat with it a while and phrased it as carefully as I could. that's my rant for the moment here.  I'm sure I'll be back to do more.. and write more.  
over and out

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